Timothy McGee's Day Off
by Precious Pup
Summary: Written as gift for iheartgibbs. Shows just how much trouble the team can get themselves into when McGee has a day off.


"And so you see to make a long story short that's why the algorisms won't integrate to the program that you're trying to use."

The computer programmer looked up at Gibbs expectantly and he simply frowned back in return. Why couldn't anything these days be simple? He just wanted the do hiky whatsit to work!

"Tony?"

"Yeah Boss?" Tony looked up expectantly from his desk.

"Get McGee down here ASAP"

"But Boss it's his day off. He scheduled it months ago. I don't even know what he's doing he wouldn't say."

'I don't care. We need him. Just get him down here. He can take two days off when this case is over but just get him here now."

"Right Boss"

Tony turned with a glance across to Ziva and started dialing McGee's cell number. McGee wasn't going to be happy but then again Tony would rather face an unhappy Probie than an unhappy Gibbs any day.

Gibbs strode off in search of more coffee while Tony continued to dial.

"Come on Probie. Pick up. Pick up pick up pick up. I know you are probably playing geeks and weirdos on the computer but just ignore the burning castle being overrun with trolls and pick up the little noisy ringing thing."

The phone was suddenly answered but instead of McGee's dulcet tones Tony started and checked the number as a heavily accented male voice answered in rough English instead.

"There is to be no disturbance in Nirvana!"

Tony frowned "Ummm is Agent McGee there?"

"Your McGee belongs to us now. Until sundown he is ours and then it is the hot oil for him!"

There was a click and the phone disconnected and Tony looked up at Ziva with wide eyes.

"Oh no! I think…..I think McGee's been kidnapped!"

*******************************************************************

"Tony? Ziva Tell me you have something." Gibbs wasn't happy. First the Dawson case wasn't getting anywhere and now McGee had vanished. He wasn't at his apartment no one could get hold of him and now this strange threat.

"Heavily accented male voice. German accent. Mentioned Nirvana. Said that they would have McGee until sundown and then…..and then they said ….. it would be hot oil for him" Tony swallowed and Ziva took over.

"Nirvana is the place of highest enlightenment as well as the grunge band. But my search has also come up with an Extremist Political Movement who wish to bring down the reigning economic system believing it unjust and weighted towards the industrialized western block of countries. It is a possibility they have captured McGee as both an agent and a published author in an effort to bring attention to their actions. Intelligence had no information on them making moves in this country though Gibbs. Although they have been wrong before."

Gibbs nodded, trying to stay focused on the task as his very tendons screamed at him that one of his team was currently missing.

"Ok what have you got Ab's?"

"It's hinky Gibbs. I mean really strange. Alright I have traced the call back to some underground bunker. It has to be underground as there is so much interference and almost shielding? But it's in the middle of the warehouse district and there aren't any records of anything ever being built there."

"So are we waiting for some sort of ransom on McGee or what? I mean who would want McGee?" Tony was trying to be cocky and hide his anxiety as he thought of his young friend being held captive in some stinking underground prison cell.

Gibbs turned to Tony and glared "Who wants a Federal Agent who has been known to hack into the CIA, Pentagon and other secure facilities?"

"Oh yeah right" Tony looked glum. Stupid Probie had to go and get captured. And on his day off? Tony couldn't protect him all the time but surely he could stay out of mischief for one day?

"Try the phone again Tony"

"Ok Boss"

Tony signaled Abby to begin the trace again as he heard it being picked up.

"Stop phoning! You are interfering in the process! He must be cleansed!" The rough German voice echoed around the lab as Tony put it through onto loudspeaker.

The scream of a familiar voice echoed in the background and then the phone disconnected again. Abby gasped and looked up with devastated eyes.

"They are torturing him Gibbs! They are torturing my Timmy!"

Gibbs' blue eyed glare was fierce. How dare they?

"Don't worry Abbs I will bring him home. Give me that address. Suit up guys full gear we are going in. We will call in the damn Sudden Response Team if we have to."

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Timothy McGee screamed in surprise as a large hot smooth river rock was placed on his lower back. Then the deep heat settled into his sore muscles and he sighed in contentment. Oh yeah. It was so worth it.

It had taken him months to get into Nirvana the most exclusive Day Spa in Washington. It was so exclusive most people had never heard of it. It had only been a rumor from his manicurist that had set him on the trail. In fact membership to Nirvana was by invitation only and they only accepted the most exclusive clientele and even then they faced rigorous assessment. It had taken a letter from his publisher and some dropped rumors about a possible Deep Six movie franchise before he had been able to get in. His security clearance had been easier to get.

But now here he was stripped naked and laid out on a table and being pampered to within an inch of his life. He hadn't dare tell Tony and the others. They made such a big deal about a simple manicure what would they say about an invigorating lime and sea salt scrub or a Dead Sea mud wrap?

Tim breathed in the scented vapors as he listened to the sounds of distant bird calls in the soft candle lit room which had the feel of a mountain grotto with actual gravel on the floors and rough hewn walls. There was an actual small trickling waterfall over in the far corner and Tim felt glad that they had taken all his belongings including his precious phone and secured it at reception. He felt somehow more naked without his phone than he did without his clothes but it felt good to be free of such mundane pressures after so long in Gibbs firing line.

It was like his own personal Cavern of Solitude. Every superhero should have one.

Tim groaned as increasingly smaller hot rocks were placed on specific chakra points up his back. By the time Angel and Saffron, his personal body therapists were finished he would be nothing but a puddle of relaxed and soothed stress free federal agent ready to take on another day. He was glad the rocks felt a bit heavy otherwise he might just float away.

And he still had the hot oil treatment to come. Liters of warm oil poured continuously over his back until he was mesmerized and then a full body massage in scented essential oils leaving his sensitive skin silky smooth and glowing.

Ha! Tony though this sort of stuff was gay Well he wasn't the one spending the day with two beautiful woman pampering to his every need, bringing him freshly squeezed juices and fruit and constantly stroking and kneading his flesh until he thought he would simply fall asleep.

Stupid Tony.

*******************************************************************

Hans frowned as the author's phone rang yet again. No wonder the poor man had booked in for so many treatments if this was how he was being….what was the word his English wasn't so good. Harassed? Annoyed?

He had worked hard to make sure Nirvana had kept the most exclusive reputation and had only the best clients. To have only the best meant that his clients and their precious privacy must be respected. Privacy to these people was more valuable than the money they spent to obtain it.

Hans narrowed his eyes at the security camera showing vision of the rather bland and slightly concealed front entrance.

"No!"

Hans hit a button on the desk and clearing his voice announced softly into the announcement speaker.

"All staff not attending to clients please come to reception. Thank you. Have a nice day."

Within moments Hans had alerted the company's lawyers and he knew he would need only to hold them off long enough for them to arrive. No disgusting filth of the earth Paparazzi would disturb these clients! There would be no half naked Supreme Court judge tabloid photo featuring his precious Nirvana.

Hans clapped his hands and turned to his highly trained mostly European staff.

"Ladies I would ask you to link elbows and stand across the reception please. No one will be allowed though. Under any circumstances!"

*****************************************************************

Tony pulled his long lens camera back around the corner and surveyed the site before report back to Gibbs via ear wig.

"Can't see anyone Gibbs. In fact Abby was right. It's too quiet. For this time of day this area should have someone wandering around. A security guard or someone but nada."

"Okay then. Everyone ready? Ziva? We are going to go in quick and fast. Are the small explosives set onto the door? We can't waste time trying to pick the locks as we will be out in the open and at risk for too long. Besides it solid metal and far too secure."

"Ready Boss"

"Yes Gibbs."

"Okay on my mark……..Go go go!"

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Tim sat up suddenly at the distant rumbling of a small explosion. Thumping running feet? Things being knocked over? And then there was lots of shouting but it sounded like it came from familiar voices?

What the hell was going on?

Tim stood wrapped a fluffy towel around his waist and went to investigate poking his head out into the hallway.

"Hello? Angel? Saffron?"

Tim ambled curiously down the hallway and saw billowing dust coming from reception. He cautiously stuck his head around the corner.

"Gibbs! What the hell are you doing?"

The entire team looked up in shock as McGee clad in nothing but a towel frowned at them as they attempted to arrest the underground political organization Nirvana and its ringleader, Hans.

The tiny and obviously gay German man was apoplectic spitting flecks of spittle everywhere as he struggled. He had abandoned English for very abusive German. He wriggled in Gibbs handcuffs and screamed blue murder.

"What are you doing to my personal therapists? " Tim watched as Angel and Saffron went down in a struggle with Ziva their fists clenched painfully in her hair while their perfect skin was being raked with Ziva's sharp short nails.

"McGee?" Gibbs just stared at his young agent in confusion. Perhaps he had been drugged? Then again his skin looked fantastic. He was practically glowing.

"You!" Hans pointed his handcuffed hands at Tim. "No more. Banned You. Never Ever!"

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"McGee? I cannot believe you! Never be uncontactable! I made that a rule for a reason!" Gibbs seethed as he suffered under a huge ass chewing from the Director.

He had stormed a Day Spa! It was lucky it wasn't on the damn news. Legal was having a field day.

"But it was my day off!" Tim wailed "And now I'm banned. It took me months to get in and I'm never going to be able to go there again. They were going to cover me in oil"

"You are so gay McGee" Tony sniffed as he nursed a lump on his head delivered by a tiny Asian masseuse named Lay Ling. Tony studied his hands. Damn he had broken a nail again.


End file.
